Teaching Kids How to Pray: A Guide for Every Age

Prayer is one of those parts of the Christian life that can feel both incredibly simple and surprisingly difficult to teach our children. We tell them that prayer is talking to God, which is true. We fold their little hands before dinner and help them say thank you for their food. We pray beside their beds at night. And then, somewhere along the way, we ask, “Do you want to pray?” and hear the familiar response: “I don’t know what to say.”

The good news is that our children don’t need to become eloquent pray-ers. They need to learn that because of Jesus, they have a Father who hears them. Prayer is not a performance, and there are no special words that make God listen more closely. Prayer is one of the ways we enjoy a real relationship with the living God. We speak to Him because He has spoken to us, we come to Him because Christ has made a way for us, and we trust that our heavenly Father knows what we need even before we ask Him (Matthew 6:8).

That means one of the best ways we can teach our children to pray is simply by letting them hear us pray. Children learn language by hearing language, and in many ways, they learn the language of prayer the same way. When they hear us thank God for something ordinary, confess our impatience, ask for help before a difficult day, or praise God for something we have read about Him in Scripture, they begin to understand what prayer can sound like. We don’t have to turn every moment into a formal family prayer time. Sometimes the most formative prayers are the short ones woven into ordinary life: “God, thank you for this beautiful day,” or “Lord, we’re feeling nervous right now. Help us remember that you are with us.”

With toddlers and preschoolers, prayer can be very simple. At this age, we are primarily helping children develop the instinct of turning toward God. They can thank Him for people they love, ask Him for help, and begin learning simple truths about who He is. At bedtime you might say, “Let’s tell God one thing we’re thankful for,” and let your child choose. Their answer might be Grandma, their stuffed animal, or the cookie they ate after lunch. That’s okay! You are teaching them that every good gift comes from God and that we can respond to His generosity with thanksgiving.

Young children also benefit from borrowing our words. If your three-year-old doesn’t know what to pray, you can give them a sentence to repeat after you: “God, thank you for loving me. Thank you for our family. Help me trust you. Amen.” Over time, invite them to fill in parts themselves. “God, thank you for ____.” “Please help ____.” There is no need to rush children toward completely independent prayer. We are giving them language they will eventually make their own.

With elementary-aged children, we can begin expanding their understanding of what prayer includes. Prayer is more than asking God for things we want. We can praise Him for who He is, thank Him for what He has done, confess our sin, pray for other people, and bring Him our own needs. The Lord’s Prayer is especially helpful here because Jesus Himself gave His disciples a pattern for prayer. We can show our children how His prayer begins with God’s name and kingdom before moving to our daily needs, forgiveness, and protection.

This is also a wonderful age to begin connecting Scripture reading and prayer. If you read that God is faithful, stop and pray, “God, thank you that you always keep your promises.” If you read a command to love your enemies, pray, “Lord, help us love people who are difficult for us to love.” If you read about God caring for His people, ask your child, “Is there anything you need God’s help with today?” This teaches them that prayer is not disconnected from the Bible. God speaks to us through His Word, and His Word gives shape to the way we speak to Him.

As children get older, we can help them grow in honesty and independence in prayer. Older children may become more self-conscious about praying aloud, especially in front of siblings or friends. We don’t need to force them into public prayers to prove that they know how to pray. Instead, we can encourage a private life of prayer while continuing to make family prayer normal. We can also help them see that they can bring complicated emotions to God. The Psalms are particularly helpful here. Scripture gives us prayers for joy, fear, grief, confusion, repentance, anger, and hope. Our children never need to pretend before God.

And what about the child of any age who says, “I don’t know what to pray”? Instead of answering, “Just pray!” we can give them somewhere to start. Ask, “What are you thankful for today?” “Is there anything you’re worried about?” “Is there someone you want God to help?” or “Is there anything you need to tell God you’re sorry for?” You can also open a Psalm and borrow its words. Prayer doesn’t always have to originate in our own minds. For centuries, God’s people have used the words of Scripture to help them pray.

This is especially helpful when our children are anxious. Sometimes a worried child really doesn’t know what to say. Their thoughts may be racing, or they may not even have words for what they are feeling. In those moments, we can pray for them and with them. We can remind them that God’s care does not depend on their ability to form the perfect prayer. Romans 8 tells us that the Spirit helps us in our weakness, even when we do not know what to pray. What a comfort for our children … and for us!

That is the heart behind our Bedtime Prayers for Anxious Hearts. This resource gives families words to borrow when worries feel especially big at the end of the day. Rather than simply telling children not to be afraid, these prayers help them bring their fears to God and remember what is true about His character, His presence, and His care.

One of the things we don’t want is to teach children to pray so that they sound impressive when they bow their heads. It is about helping them develop a lifelong reflex of turning toward God. When they are thankful, they can turn to Him. When they have sinned, they can turn to Him. When they are confused, they can turn to Him. When they are lying awake at night with a worry that feels much too big for them, they can turn to Him.

And sometimes, when they don’t know what to say at all, they can simply begin with, “God, I need you.” That is a prayer too!